Dating Scene
I haven’t posted in a while so I wanted to provide an update with what’s going on in my life lately. I started a new antidepressant called Auvelity and I have noticed a positive change, I feel much more mellow and in control of my emotions and I haven’t experienced suicidal thoughts or periods of intense sadness. Everything feels pretty stable. Work has been fine, it’s slow there, not a lot of young adults come in the center so there’s a lot of downtime right now and sometimes the day drags because of it, but it’s not too bad. Yesterday we had a guest speaker from the Zeiterion Theatre come talk to some kids about her life and her experiences. It went really well, and it was nice to hear about her journey.
The only thing that’s really been going on lately is my emergence into the dating scene. When Glenn and I broke up I downloaded a dating app named Hinge and shortly after another one called Boo, so I’ve been dabbling on there and I’ve had a few dates. The first was with a guy dubbed Batman, because he is a cosplayer that dresses up like Batman. While he did not dress as Batman for our date at Tequila Lime, it went okay. He was really nervous and talked so much that he barely ate but I was willing to go on a second date with him because we had a lot in common and we had been talking a lot. The following week about an hour before our second date, he texts me that he has to bring his grandfather to the emergency room because he fell. I don’t want to say he lied about it because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but then he ghosted me and we haven’t talked since. It was kinda disappointing because we had been texting each other a lot, but it was mostly just confusing. Why did he randomly just stop talking to me when things were going well? I haven’t been overly upset about it though and have moved forward just fine.
The second date was with a guy nicknamed The Christian, because he was very religious. This initially put me off because I’m a Satanist and I think Christianity can be discriminatory and misogynistic. He was accepting of my Satanism though, so I wanted to keep an open mind. We went out for hot pot in Providence. He was nice and everything but we just had no chemistry and I felt awkward the whole time. He kept trying to make me laugh but I just didn’t think he was funny and he had intense energy that didn’t mesh well with me. I was honest with him about my feelings and he seemed to be understanding. I wish him no ill will, but he just wasn’t for me. So the search continued.
Last night I went out with Flowers Guy, named because he kindly bought me flowers on Valentines Day and sent them to my work. It went very well, we went out for sushi and talked a lot. We seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things and had good conversations. He’s also just very sweet and that has been a welcome change, the last couple of guys I have been in a relationship with weren’t overly nice or complimentary and I really need that. We got fried ice cream, which was exciting because I love it and I haven’t had it in years. This allowed us extra time to talk which was nice. We’re going out next Friday as well which I’m happy about. I’m trying to stay optimistic about this one because he’s very nice and I like him.
I’ve been talking to a lot of different people on the apps but now I don’t really want to meet up with anyone so I can see how things with flower guy progresses. I don’t want to rush into anything and I want to explore my options, but I really like to focus on one person at a time. Overall the dating scene has been interesting, confusing and sometimes disappointing but I’m doing okay. I really want to find my person, I’m sick of being single and I’m tired of having relationships that just eventually fall apart, I want to find my forever home in someone special. I want to be able to build a life with someone and grow as individuals and together. Shit is tough to find, but I’m remaining open minded and positive.
